October, 2020
October is the month of relationships. I say this because Venus is the ruler of Libra, the planet that October falls under astrologically. Relationship is a small word that encompasses a big area because everything in life is about relationships, whether it is with people, your car, or your pet. This past month has been a doozy in terms of releasing old patterns, integrating new ways of being, and opening to the future in a way that allows for new growth that looks and feels nothing like the past.
I turned 52 on October 15. Birthdays have never been an easy time for me. I tend to be reminded of my physical birth, the permanent disconnection from certain frequencies, and the journey forward in life that is often times solo. All of these variables have been extremely impactful on who I am today. Now I am shedding the person that I was including the variables and becoming the person that I am. This process requires a lot of internal strength. And some days, I’m not sure where the strength is. Often times this is indicative of time needed to integrate all the shifts and changes that I have been witness to so that I can continue with grace rather than “muscling” forward. Though it may seem given the conditions on the outside; fires, climate change, politics, pandemics, etc., would lead anyone to question whether or not they can master human life at this time, for me, this has been a question I have carried for many lifetimes. And in many lifetimes, I have failed miserably. Entering death from war, starvation, and suicide. I know, with absolute certainty, this lifetime I am not going to my death from any of these places of decay or deprivation. I want to die full, complete, ready, and healthy. I work very hard to maintain my sovereignty and embodied space as a way to stay true to myself and be available to expanded states of awareness. I’ve already been through this process enough times to know that I can’t go weak on myself (even when I want to). I have to dig deep A LOT to stay with myself. Occasionally, I wonder about the results. However, I am almost always shown that when I can find the connection with myself that I really want, the results are obvious. I am home, I am secure, and I am content. And here’s where I sound like a broken record. I can’t do any of this without the deep cognizance of my body. My incredible body that works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without fail to keep me going. This is my primary relationship. Giving my body deep appreciation every day is not only necessary it is a privilege. This is what I am here to share and remember as often as I can.
