December, 2019
This past year has been one of tremendous growth for me. I’ve learned how to apply discipline that is coherent with who I am by working with frequencies, learning my own mechanics, and studying how the body translates and digests this type of work. It has been fascinating. Back in April of this year I had planned a surgery to remove a benign fatty tumor. I cancelled the surgery as I knew I was not ready for the rehab and what is required internally to go through a surgery successfully. Last week, I went through with the surgery. And like many people’s experiences with surgery, it was far more impacting that I had anticipated; even though I have seen many post-surgical clients in my practice and treated them for several months after knee, hip, shoulder, ankle and spinal replacements as well as specific plastic surgeries, you’d think I’d be a little more realistic about my own healing. Not so much.
The first hurdle for me with any kind of body injury or illness is self-punishment. The root of this frequency for me is when my body is not able to move there is inherent fear of vulnerability. I can trace this back in my immediate family line and through my ancestors but now what I am noticing is how it shows up in the collective. Vulnerability is something that humans have regarded as weakness for some time, regardless of the type of vulnerability, it is generally considered weak to be vulnerable. And if you take the vulnerability piece away and just look at human weakness there is even less tolerance. In my case, my livelihood, sense of well-being, and movement forward in life is highly dependent upon my body. When my body is not functioning well, it is very easy to fall prey to the negative aspects of weakness. Weakness in and of itself is not a problem. It has taught me how and when to take care of myself. It shows me where my tolerances are and how I need to support and encourage myself to keep going. And by keeping going, I’m not talking about physical movement, I’m referring to the negative self-talk that comes in when weakness is apparent. By keeping going into deeper states of self-awareness and understanding, I gain a better and more functional understanding of myself and can utilize that understanding for my own healing.
The first few days out of surgery (I was given full anesthesia) were rough. My self-talk required regular correction. I had to be very disciplined with how I handled what I said to myself and to others about myself. However, since doing mounds of frequency work, I’ve discovered that the corrections were held. I found that I did not have to effort as much to keep myself coherent and even though I am quite a ways out from being completely healed, I have a clear understanding of my own mechanics all the way down to the cellular level on what I need in order to heal properly. This may sound extreme or exhausting but I find it fascinating. Not only has this experience educated me in ways that I could not have imagined in order to better treat my clients, I have a solid understanding of myself and a knowing that I am capable of quite a bit.
I am probably more biased than most in how I see the human body. It is a miraculous genius machine. However, what this experience has shown me is that the human body that I occupy is not the sum total of who I am. It is an expression of who I am on the inside and how I treat it and regard it is very important. This is the foundation of frequency work. There is very little that works well on the physical plane if our internal workings are not sound. Once a solid relationship is built with our internal space, it is so much easier and more fluid to move in physical space with trust and faith in ourselves.
Wishing all of you a very Happy Holiday Season!
