I put down my best friend yesterday. We shared 15 years of turbulence, love, joy, fun, comfort and companionship. It’s very empty in my house today. I’m sure anyone who has walked through the death of a loved one can relate to this. It’s the kind of empty that tugs at your core and you wonder how you will fill it up on your own.

When something or someone has resonance for me, I pause and explore. And when that resonance sparks recognition in me, I have to hold myself back from falling in love with little discernment. That was my experience following various teachers for the last 25 years. Whether it has been teachers of orthopedics, massage, yoga, Buddhism, philosophy, neo-nihilism, nutrition, education, finance, technology, somatic breath work, spiritualism, shamanism, etc. the list goes on, I have been the quintessential student.

Last month I attended a Frequency Training with Mas Sajady in Minnesota. It was centered around driving racecars at a bona fide track. All the attendees went through a Driving School which included a slalom course, skid pad, obstacles on the track and of course, driving as fast as you can. It was super fun! And in all the adrenaline coursing speed there were three words that stayed with me Correct Pause Recover. These were the words of our illustrious teacher who drove all the cars in the film Ford v Ferrari and has trained many of the top F1 drivers from around the world.

Last month went by in a blur. As May tracks at the same pace, I paused today to tap into where I am more deeply. The biggest theme in my life has been personal relationships with people. I feel like I have a solid understanding of relationship with nature, animals, plants and even professional relationships. But interpersonal relationships have been a bit of a mystery to me.