July has been the weirdest month on record for me. I feel like I am straddling two different realities most of the time. There’s this physical reality where the world is changing dramatically on many different levels/timelines and there’s the non-physical reality where things seem to be moving smoothly in more of a flow state.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve asked the question, “who am I?” followed by “why am I here?”. I haven’t really experienced satisfying answers. Instead, when I utter those words among most people the response has been “you have too much time on your hands”. Once I discovered philosophers like Neitchze, Descartes, Keirkegard, Plato, Socrates, Ayn Rand, I realized I wasn’t the only one on earth asking these questions.

I put down my best friend yesterday. We shared 15 years of turbulence, love, joy, fun, comfort and companionship. It’s very empty in my house today. I’m sure anyone who has walked through the death of a loved one can relate to this. It’s the kind of empty that tugs at your core and you wonder how you will fill it up on your own.

When something or someone has resonance for me, I pause and explore. And when that resonance sparks recognition in me, I have to hold myself back from falling in love with little discernment. That was my experience following various teachers for the last 25 years. Whether it has been teachers of orthopedics, massage, yoga, Buddhism, philosophy, neo-nihilism, nutrition, education, finance, technology, somatic breath work, spiritualism, shamanism, etc. the list goes on, I have been the quintessential student.